WELCOME $:)

Hello
Well if you have been looking at this site but haven't seen anything for a while i must aplogise. Last term was very hectic, missions, training weekends, etc.

I have however not been idol, i have been reading and devouring forming thoughts (and being very challanged!)

I hope to begin to publish frequently now, please enjoy, comment and seek His glory

EVERY SINGE MANS BATTLE

Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoker

Part of the Every Man series, a set of books aimed at Spiritual and Sexual Integrity. This book is definitely the latter. The Author Stephen Arterburn is one of the main series writers. He was married but tragically his marriage failed, as such he found himself single and realised that singleness is a much neglected ministry, so he wrote this book. The result is a very personal, very honest, and immensely challenging book. This book is aimed at men, no mistake.

The book promotes accountability groups between men, especially single men, a much neglected part of male ministry. Reading this I was shouting YES! This is an area that Christians need to realise we are not individuals but called into fellowship with our brothers (and sisters), holiness being a personal and communal responsibility and as such we need to be accountable in community.

The book also addresses WHO God is, what claims God has on your life. From there it encourages single men to therefore submit to God and pursue holiness. Again a wonderful point, if we do not recognise God’s rights on our life, what incentive do we to have to be holy or to submit?!?

The writer has also looked into physiology and other sciences. He looks in detail at the affects of sex and masturbation on the brain, showing the science of addiction, and its sociological impact. I haven’t read anything like this before, it’s scary and yet true. Showing how the fallen world and our fallen bodies can so easily corrupt God’s gift of personal, intimate, marital sex.

For those who need more of a kick, or who want to put the accountability into practice there is a workbook element of the book. In fact half the book is a workbook with questions that relate to the chapters in this book (and also every mans battle) aimed for you and your group to address in a personal accountable environment.

However. This book is designed for Sexual integrity, as such reading you would think that every single mans battle is related to sex and lust. Yes guys struggle with this more than girls. HOWEVER issues like money, loneliness, language, ministry, identity etc do not come up. Also there is no teaching on what the gift of singleness as presented in the Bible is (or that it is a gift). The book is about sex, sexual integrity as a single man. Nothing else. The writer is very personal and as such his perspective on these things comes out a lot, for him after being divorced the major issue he faced was how to deal with his sexuality. Also his experiences shape what he thinks on these issues.

Overall, a good resource for men that struggle with sexual integrity. However as a book on singleness, it won’t do much to help your thinking on what it means to be and live as a single Christian in today’s society (apart from what to do with your libido).

IF SINGLENESS IS A GIFT WHAT’S THE RETURN POLICY?

Holly Virden & Michelle McKinney Hammond


From the title alone this looks to be a promising book that relates to the problems and struggles singles face. The rest of the book deals with such issues. Written By two ladies in America who are involved in Women’s ministry, one of them, Michelle, being a full time Christian author. The garish purple stripes and a pair of female authors might give a clue that this book is aimed at women. The book is written for single Christians, however at times the authors do seem to forget and talk to the female readers. The book is American, nothing against Americans but it does mean you have to cross the cultural barriers at times.

The book is lifestyle/ issue focused, giving practical and godly advice in living and working through Christian single living. The subjects tackled include:
Self Worth/ Identity
Desiring God
Using your freedom for God
Time Management and time priorities
Frustrations of being single
Relationships/dating
Filling your life with Jesus

The book’s aim is to refocus its readers back on God and not on their marital situation. They highlight the relational part of our being was created by God, with the main purpose of relationship with Him. Since the fall we are all longing (and needing) relationship with God, therefore that “hole” in each of us we long to fill should be only filled with God. Their point being how can a man (or partner) fill an emptiness in your soul that can only filled by God!

In regards to relationships etc. The book emphasises that we should be preparing ourselves for them NOT seeking them. That we should be enhancing our godly character, looking to preserve our purity and develop our Christ-like character and seeking communion with God first and foremost. Yes this is important and should be stressed as it encourages maturity in faith and helps us tear our minds away form the obsession of relationships. However I feel that the book could stress that despite however mature in our faith we become we may not get married. The book could be more explicit on that, although not easy or pleasant it is true and something we do all need to realise on our walk as singles through life.

Other positive parts are the book is its honesty in dealing with issues, the personal experiences these woman share do seem to echo common experiences of single people (lonely nights in front of the TV anyone???). Also it is very clear on Right and Wrong, when we can become self pitying or be tempted not to draw the line, the book reminds us there is still a standard that we should be looking to despite our situation and how we feel about it. Time and time again the books points to God and the bible for all our answers to our problems, it aims to pull readers out of themselves and to put their eyes back to their faith and to their saviour.

The only negative I found is that it could do more of producing a theology of singleness. What does the bible say about singleness, what does this mean etc etc. However, there are other books that provide that e.g.: THE SINGLE ISSUE/ GOD, SEX & MARRAGE/ SINGLE WOMEN: CHALANGE TO THE EVANGELICAL CHURCH.

Overall an easily readable book, offering godly advice on practical living as a single Christian. Focused mainly to women, the teaching still is useful to men, showing our real need for relationships is met and fulfilled in Jesus.

SINGLE WOMEN: CHALLENGE TO THE EVANGELICAL CHURCH

Kirstin Aune
I picked this up on Spring Harvest (one of the only 3 books relating to singleness in the book store). This book is a survey done on single women in the Church, written mainly to Evangelical Church leaders. The main aim of the book is to highlight the numbers of single women in the church, to show what issues they face, what support they have received from the church and to offer suggested action for the church to take based on the results and at the same time produce a theology of singleness.

A lot of facts and figures in this, both about society and the church. The main are as follows:
65% of the evangelical congregation are Female
35% of the evangelical congregations are single
68% of the SINGLE evangelical congregation are Female

In relation to the Church and it’s teaching on singleness the author found:
In Church:
40% had never heard a sermon on singleness
40% had heard very little on singleness
20% had heard a limited amount
Out of Church:
20% had been given teaching, in small group context or Christian unions at Uni
Overall:
1/3 had never had any teaching on singleness. (Shocking, yes)


The author divides her survey into sections: Society, the Church, Relationships, Husband hunting (issues relating to men, sex and romance) and Attitudes (of society, and from within the church). In general the book, shows the research of both positive and negative experiences of single women in these areas, often citing their comments from the survey to give real insight into the minds and hearts and experiences (many rather sad) of the women in our pews.

This book does make shocking reading, it shows that there really are very mixed views across the evangelical churches on how women look at singleness and its related issues. Also highlighted is a perceived duality, where women can see singleness in a positive light but due to experience and pressures (of society, biological and within the Church) regard singleness as an inferior state to marriage.

Chapter 5 in the book the writer forms her theology on singleness. This is a concise and excellent piece of writing. First she discusses the Old Testament theology of marriage, family and salvation. Then she explains how the coming of Jesus radically changes that. That we now belong to a spiritual family, that salvation and expanding that spiritual family comes through evangelism (spiritual reproduction not biological). She also shows that now marriage within the new testament is secondary to heaven and all believers should pursue heaven first. She also looks at Jesus’ teaching and also the 1 Corinthians passage. I recommend this chapter to all people no mater their marital status! The writer also looks at female sexuality and how to express it as a single Christian, well I’m a guy and I didn’t really get much of this, I agree that we are commanded to remain celibate (as does the author) yet we are not called to repress our sexuality (though how this works out for women I cannot comment)

Also in the book is the issue of where are all the men? She highlights the need for more outreach to men, NOT for the sake of providing men for al the single women, BUT because all people need the gospel and this is an area where the church is not reaching.

The last chapter of the book is her recommendations for the Church. Most of all more teaching on singleness by people who understand, more care/awareness in the church for singles and what the gift of singleness means. And the urgent need for more women’s ministry.

The book is a survey and does highlight areas of struggle for single women within the Church, the issues relating to attitudes of the Church to singles also impact single men as well. I do feel the book gets a bit het up on the issue of female-leadership, and takes opportunity to use the book as a platform to put forward her own opinion on the subject. I think that it is matter for church leadership and members should respect the stance of their church, yet the ideas and opinions of single women need to be considered within the Church.

Overall this book is a wake up call to the church, a call to examine its views on and attitudes to singleness and whether they are shaped by the bible or culture! The chapter on theology is concrete and worth reading.? The book as a whole is especially useful to church leaders and those who have roles in ministry of any kind. A book that certainly requires a response. Times have changed yet has the Church?

THE SINGLE ISSUE

Al Hsu This is the one of the two most commonly available books on the issue of Singleness. The aim of this book is twofold, first to help people understand the meaning of “the gift of singleness” and second to advocate Singleness as a way of life.

Initially the book focuses on the situation of Singleness, within society (both secular and Christian), and from there follows onto ‘a brief history of singleness’ looking as to where today’s attitudes have come from, first looking at the Old testament, then the New Testament, and the impact of the Reformation.

From there Hsu forms his theology of Singleness, looking at 1 Corinthians chapter 7. In this he aims to refute common held “myths” of singleness/celibacy. He argues Singleness IS a gift, BUT NOT a spiritual gift (as many argue). This is a pivotal point to the issue of Christian singleness that people need to think through. IF singleness is a spiritual gift then if you can’t cope with the single life/God has not equipped you for living as a single person then you should get married. IF however as Hsu argues Singleness is a general gift given by God, like marriage, then it does not mean we should expect to be supernaturally enabled as we live the single life, yet still must view singleness as a God given gift. Don’t get me wrong God always looks after his sons and daughters, and God will help us in our lives whether single or married, my point is neither will be easy!

Hsu moves to look at the Issue of God’s will in relation to singleness and Marriage, he has two points. First the bible never says we will get married, he is blunt, possibly too harsh, but it is a point that needs to be made. Second, there is no “perfect partner” and no to view God as the matchmaker. He insists God has not planned out a person for everyone, his aim being to get people to live their life in the moment for God not gazing wistfully into the future for something that may or may not happen. Again I agree with the conclusion of this, that God calls us to live our lives now as he has put us, so if we are currently single we should be living lives to please him and for him as single Christians, and not to place our lives (and ministries) on “hold” waiting for marriage. I do have issues with his view on sovereignty, in my opinion yes God has it all planned and we can (and should) trust him in all things, including our marital situation, if God chooses to change that fine, if not then that is also fine. Yet we mere humans cannot understand God’s overall control of the universe, we can trust in what we know (God is good, God gives us good gifts etc) and what we do not know (whether or not we will get married) we can lay at his feet and live out what God has revealed to us at the present moment in our lives (Deut 29:29).

The rest of the book is more related to Christian living, tackling the “big” issues single Christians face. Chapter 6 deals with freedom and opportunity. Hsu deals with issues like, service, personal growth, ministry and mission, the freedom not to marry. A challenging chapter that makes you see past the discouragement you face and helps you see the areas of blessing you take for granted and shows you the real rewards and freedom of singleness.

Chapter 7, by far my favourite chapter, deals with “from loneliness to solitude”. Loneliness is one of the biggest issues singles face, Hsu shows that there is a difference from being alone to being lonely (ones a situation, the other is an emotion). ‘fellowship with God is the solution to loneliness. Companionship with fellow Christians is the cure for aloneness.’ Hsu looks at how to make the most of those quiet times in your life, filling your time with God, and the importance of devolving community with church and fellow believers. Very worth while reading to challenge you.

The rest of the book is further challenges to Romance, and the pitfalls and dangers of Christian single living (self-centredness, putting you life on hold, finance). These sections highlight where single Christians often struggle and provides encouragement to simply re-think why these areas are hard and what you can actively do to change and enjoy life more.

This book does I think have some of the best teaching on Christian singleness out on bookshelves. HOWEVER, it is by no means perfect. I sense a lot of bitterness in the book at times, he does like to point out where either the media promotes false values of “happily ever after”, or blaming married couples for singles problems (yes married couples in churches can unintentionally cause problems but blame is NOT a good way to deal with that). His chapter on community is slightly odd, he promotes singles groups (also known as Kairos or SAM), I think his logic here is very flawed: single people within the church feel isolated from the church community, therefore they need to be included, therefore the church should run single peoples groups..... yeah like that’s going to help the singles in the church feel included within the church community! I haven’t made my mind up on the whole concept of “singles groups” within churches yet keep you posted. Often also I feel the application is not the most logical or advisable, again with any book, look at the principal and see if you agree with the application. Lastly, the book is not the most sympathetic read Hsu does tend to lay the standard and expects people to come up to his level, I feel more could be done to relate to the readers to help them think through the issue of living as a Single Christian.
Overall, yes a good book, I would recommend reading it alongside another book. His main aim to promote singleness as an active lifestyle for God is important and something that all people need to read and live out. He deals with and combats myths within the church that so easily pass unchallenged and will give fresh insight into what the “gift of singleness” actually is.

GOD, SEX AND MARRAGE

John Richards
A small book from Matthias Media (now the Good Book Company). It is a book looking at (unsurprisingly) Paul’s teachings on 1 Corinthians, add with very amusing cartoons. For those wanting to understand what 1 Corinthians says to believers about “God sex and marriage” this is a very good book to start with.

This is a set of Bible studies so it is not looking into to lifestyle issues but looking at what the bible is saying to us. In relation to Singleness, it looks to what the Greek expressions mean, this is important as because much of church teaching is based around the English translations. He says the Gift of singleness is “our life situation- our total selves in the context we are placed.” The writer says people may have natural dispositions towards marriage, but that does not mean we have that gift, God’s gift is also worked out through circumstances. His point: “The response called for is to trust, serve... and become more like Christ”.

Also dealt with is the teaching on ‘Mixed marriages’, ‘God’s calling’ and ‘Do not seek a wife’. Again all dealt with in a warm, wise and biblical manner.

For those wanting to look more at Singleness I would recommend this book to start with to gain a foundation of what the bible says to believers on the issue of singleness, and trusting in God in all situations: “Rather than worrying about changing our lives we should concentrate on living them”.

I KISSED DATING GOODBYE

Josh Harris
Yes its that dreaded book, like marmite you either love it or you hate it. Published 1997, this book caused (and still causes) a stir, it raises reactions from its readers, I don’t think this book won’t be controversial. Now before we go any further, please put out of your head all you previous pre-conceptions of this book or opinions. What is the aim of this book? It says it is about “a new attitude toward romance and relationships”. Why? Basically secular culture is at such a level is influences all of us, especially young people, in our attitudes and perceptions of relationships and sex. The book shows we need to stand back and see what God says on the issues facing us in Romance and Relationships.

The first part re-thinks romance, looking ‘beyond what feels good back to what is good’. In a self obsessed culture where ‘I do what feels good to me’ it is a helpful reminder that we are here for Christ and not our own enjoyment. It looks at the gift of singleness, purity and pursing God first. All done again in a very relational and warm but biblical way, again showing singleness is an opportunity to serve the Lord, to grow in your faith and be used for God. After it looks at lifestyle issues like, making the most of your gifts, friendships, purity and forgiveness from your past through the cross.

The book is rather American and again there are cultural barriers to cross. BUT the teaching in it is good. I think the problem is people read this book and take away the application not the point. The classic being “don’t kiss your girlfriend”, that had people up in arms crying out “legalism”, why does he say this? He says this as this was his personal choice, he recommends it to his readers, his point being that we should seek to preserve our purity and not to rouse emotions we are not ready for. Now okay I take this is as very good advice, how do you apply the principal HONESTLEY to your relationships is something you have to work out (if your not towing the line then maybe try his advice!). If people remember this book is not the word of God but explains it very well it would cause a lot less angst.

This book is challenging, it will probe your life and make you think through your attitudes about, love, relationships, singleness and even friendships. It encourages you to put your marital situation back into God’s hands. To get out of the relationship obssesed mentality. The book encourages you to live out your life building yourself up in Christ, and building others up and all the time trusting in the God who cares for you. The book challenges you not to give into the world or be defined by it but to stand apart for God and seek his ways first.

JOURNAL FOR BIBLICAL MANHOOD AND WOMANHOOD VOL.5:2

http://www.cbmw.org/journal/editions/5-2.pdf

THE HOLY VOCATION OF SINGLENESS (journal for biblical manhood and womanhood vol 5:2)
John Chapman

A short article but again concise. Chapman deals with the issue of Kingdom perspective we so often lack in regards to singleness. “We need to remind ourselves that now, in the world, the extension of the Kingdom of God and the spread of the Gospel are our highest priorities. When we take our place in the New Creation there will be time and
opportunity to pursue everything that is good.” Again essential to understanding singleness is the need to understand the cross and its implications on our lives now and in eternity.

Chapman also addresses the issues of ministry, with singleness comes the time and ability to devote ourselves to “the affairs of the Lord”. He also desires to put forward the balance between singleness and marriage, both being gifts of equal value. The role of Church in a single Christians life is also shown to be vital, if we need community and have no “biological” family we need to spend time with our spiritual family. Ending with a challenge to the church for respect and incorporating to singles in their congregations.


GIFT OF SINGLENESS? YOUR NOT SERRIOUS? (journal for biblical manhood and womanhood vol 5:2))
Kirstiy Birkett and Lois Hagger

Again another short but concise journal article. The aim of this piece is to examine reasons for staying single in the light of 1 Corinthians 7. It starts with a brief look at secular culture, that makes an idol of sex and how that thinking can subconsciously enter our mindset: I am not complete unless I am having sex, hang on I’m a Christian, to have sex I must be married, so therefore I need to get married. That might sound ridiculous, but think on it. It encourages people to use their singleness to devote themselves to God’s work. It looks at misconceptions of marriage and compares them to the freedom of singleness, and the need for first and foremost for a relationship with God.

It does end with a challenge. There is a call for people to examine the reasons why they want to marry, are they the same as what the bible teaches on marriage? Do we desire marriage for the building up of our partners in Christ and to model Christ’s love for his Church? Or do we desire marriage for other reasons? Also it gives a case to examine our singleness, are we choosing to stay single to serve God? Or to enjoy our freedom in a selfish way?

WHO IS MY FAMILY

Elizabeth Lockwood

http://www.cbmw.org/resources/articles/eLockwood-Singleness.pdf

Again another article off the CBMW website. The article looks at the single Christians role within the community of believers, emphasizing why community is important to singles and that local churches will become the single Christian’s families. The Church therefore needs to be aware of issues single Christians face and the bibles teaching so they can minister singles within the church community. It’s a two way thing, both the need for the single Christian to be ministered to and seek fellowship and the church to minister and assimilate single Christians into their community.

Lockwood starts by examining the two differences approaches to singleness by Christian singles, first the negative, living in desperation. She helpfully shows that this is a selfish view and unproductive to a single Christian: “the Christian immersed in the culture of self is preoccupied with the temporal whilst the eternal lies unappreciated and unexplored”. Then she moves to look at the positive attitude of the Christian to singleness; that is contentment. She helpfully looks at Philippians 4:10 showing that contentment is a discipline that requires learning and patience: “I have LEARNED in whatever situation I am to be content”.

Lockwood also looks at realities of singleness, her aim being to show what problems singles face so both singles and the church can work together to shape ministry for singles. She looks at: not all are single by choice (and the reality that many will not marry), loneliness and proper sexual expression. She ends by showing that being single compliments ministry providing more opportunities and less concerns for going into the mission field. She also encourages her readers to accept where and how God has placed them and to pursue his kingdom.
Again a good article quickly read with food for thought for both singles and church leaders (or those in ministry). The call to selflessly pursue God and his kingdom, despite whatever you may feel about being single, is one that should be embraced.

BLOG: Solo Feminity

http://solofemininity.blogs.com/

This is Carolyn McCulley’s blog, she has written the many books including “did I kiss marriage goodbye”. She writes mainly for single women and there are many useful articles on her blog that can be accessed. Many useful articles that provoke thought.

PURE

Linda Marshall This years UCCF hot book, aimed for students and young adults with the aim of re-establishing God’s view of sex and relationship in a sex obsessed society. There are many good short sections on gender, forgiveness and purity. Friendship: looking at how guys and girls tick and think, with the aim of helping you think through how you interact and develop friendship with the opposite sex. Forgiveness: in a sex saturated and obsessed society it is common for Christians pre-conversion (and sadly post-conversion) to have been sexually active, here Linda wonderfully reminds us the cross takes away our guilt and shame.

The section on gifts is short, it emphasizes that singleness and marriage are “gifts God gives for us to serve him” and she addresses the myths that surround the gift of singleness, then moving to look at contentment. The section is short and won’t answer all your questions in detail, but then it is not designed to. It is more a quick overview of singleness that provides a good foundation from which to expand with further reading.
Short and brief and very helpful for re-gaining God’s view on sex and relationships, aimed to help you re-adjust you life and attitudes back to how God wants you to be. It also comes with a course so groups can work through it together. There has been much positive feedback from students and reviewers. Defiantly worth a read alongside other books.

SEX AND SENSIBILTY

Steve Ayers (1997 IVP)
This is an older book, I think the book that preceded ‘relationship revolution’. Steve Ayers is the author who wrote the “What would Jesus say to…” book. Again not a book on singleness per say but it has a good section looking at culture and how that influences our views on friendships and relationships: “we live in a generation desperate for intimacy… but we have been hurt therefore we shy away from commitment”. The author is obviously clued in on the undercurrents of our generation, he writes in a way that is easy to read and relates well to his audience.

The format of the book is well done:
Chapter 1: Generation X, looking at cultural influences on our approach to sex and relationships

Chapter 2: Loneliness, a problem facing young people (singles or not) in society
Chapter 3: Friendship, how should we approach and conduct friendships, pursing intimate real friendships.
Chapter 4: Guidance about starting relationships

Chapter 5: The bible and sex: what the bible says
Chapter 6: Dealing with the past, in relation to previous sexual experience
Chapter 7: Marriage, looking beyond rocks and bells

Chapter 9: The Gospel, God and us in relationship.

The layout makes the book flow naturally. As I said it is not a book on singleness but I think that chapters 1-4 are very useful for singles to read. Looking at building up friendships in a society where we are not good at being intimate is valuable reading, the chapter on Generation X is also good, it shows just how much you sub-consciously take in. I guess my only criticism as a book is the Gospel is at the end, if our lives are now the gospel then I would personally put the gospel at the start of any book. The book gives straight, simple and loving teaching on living to the bible’s teaching in relationships (friendship and other sorts) in a self obsessed and closed generation.

BOY MEETS GIRL

Josh Harris
A book on relationships… hang on this is a blog on singleness. Let me explain, one problem for single Christians is that they can become obsessed about relationships and finding “the perfect one”. Also adding to this, single Christians do end up in relationships, therefore teaching on relationships is needed, either as a clarification for singles’ miss-conceptions on relationships or as preparation for the future.

Why did I find this book useful as a single Christian? Well the aim of the book is to make the readers view relationships as “God centered”. He uses the bible clearly to show biblical principals for God centered relationships, the most important being that marriage is serving God together. First this helps you see past the self centeredness that so often can cloud peoples approach to relationships. Second, it is scary! In reading this book the first time it made me think through how I viewed relationships and the commitment involved. It made me realizes the amount of sacrifice involved. Why should singles read this book, well it might just scare you so much that you end up embracing your single status.

Well my experience of the book aside, it does make you think seriously about relationships in many helpful ways. It helps you get out of the mindset of “he/she is a Christian, he/she is single, therefore he/she is a potential husband/wife”. When you relies the commitment involved and that marriage is to serve God it makes you re-think what you are looking for in a partner, in terms of godly compatibility and outlook on ministry.

Harris looks at the importance of basing relationships in friendship, keeping your relationship to the appropriate level where you are, at not where you want to be at. Again purity features heavily, it seems to be a trend in American literature, but again this is an important discipline so don’t neglect it. Also is an excellent chapter on dealing with the past and experiencing God’s forgiveness, as I have mentioned increasing numbers of believers have had past sexual experience and often it holds them back or drags them down in guilt, the challenge here is to face up to the past in a relationship and accept God’s forgiveness.
Again many people have “issues” with Josh Harris, as I say, take his principal then look at the application. For a book on relationships and how to approach them, I recommend this one, warm and biblical, it will give a good grounding in what relationships are there for and what they are about, vital points that are often forgotten in the craze of media, peer pressure, fallen nature and barrages of hormones.

SEX IS NOT THE PROBLEM: LUST IS

Josh Harris
Also known as “not even a hint”, this is a book on purity. Aimed at both men and women (although I think it relates more to men) the aim is liberate you from the lies of lust. “lust ruins our relationships, robs us of spiritual passion and leaves us feeling hollow”. Be warned this book has a high squirmish factor, it will challenge and it will convict.

The book is divided into three sections, the first is the foundation of the teaching on lust. First, why is lust a problem, what does it do to us, second looking at the creation, what is part of our human makeup and what of our sinful natures. Then most importantly looking at how to find the power to change. The message is “you can’t save yourself”, how true, whatever steps, approaches, plans etc you put into place won’t solve your problems, you need God. Looking at our freedom from sin and our need for the holy sprit in our lives “that teaches us to say ‘no’ to all ungodliness and worldly passions” (Titus 2:11)

After laying the framework and showing that we must seek God’s help in whatever we do to fight lust, Harris moves on to look at issues we battle with in regards to lust: where are we weakest (a more self analyzing chapter), Gender differences and how we can help each other as brothers and sisters, Masturbation, temptations of the media. All honest and very provoking. After that he looks at how to deal long term with lust, specifically accountability groups, using the sword of the spirit/ how can the truth help me defeat the lies. Lastly with a conclusion and a call to persevere in your struggles, fighting lust is a battle, sometimes we’re winning, sometimes we’re on the back foot, he encourages us not to give up.
Like most of Harris’ writing this is very warm and biblical and relates well to the reader. Most criticize his work for being too extreme or legalistic, I haven’t heard that comment leveled at this book, so even if you dislike Harris this book is still for you! Lust can be a barrier between us and God, if we seek satisfaction elsewhere than him that will hinder our relationship, for singles lust is a problem we face (just as married Christians also face lust), if your struggling in this area I do recommend this book, read and act on it!

Web site resources:

I spent some time searching the internet for useful resources for Single Christians, Unfortunatly there realy is nothing out there, and don't even think about typing "single christian" into google. But trawling through the rubish and online dating i did find two sites that i will TENTITIVLY put forward:

CROSWALK:
http://www.crosswalk.com/community/singles/singles.archive.html
http://www.crosswalk.com/community/singles.html

PURPOSEFUL SINGLENESS

http://www.singleness.org/