IF SINGLENESS IS A GIFT WHAT’S THE RETURN POLICY?

Holly Virden & Michelle McKinney Hammond


From the title alone this looks to be a promising book that relates to the problems and struggles singles face. The rest of the book deals with such issues. Written By two ladies in America who are involved in Women’s ministry, one of them, Michelle, being a full time Christian author. The garish purple stripes and a pair of female authors might give a clue that this book is aimed at women. The book is written for single Christians, however at times the authors do seem to forget and talk to the female readers. The book is American, nothing against Americans but it does mean you have to cross the cultural barriers at times.

The book is lifestyle/ issue focused, giving practical and godly advice in living and working through Christian single living. The subjects tackled include:
Self Worth/ Identity
Desiring God
Using your freedom for God
Time Management and time priorities
Frustrations of being single
Relationships/dating
Filling your life with Jesus

The book’s aim is to refocus its readers back on God and not on their marital situation. They highlight the relational part of our being was created by God, with the main purpose of relationship with Him. Since the fall we are all longing (and needing) relationship with God, therefore that “hole” in each of us we long to fill should be only filled with God. Their point being how can a man (or partner) fill an emptiness in your soul that can only filled by God!

In regards to relationships etc. The book emphasises that we should be preparing ourselves for them NOT seeking them. That we should be enhancing our godly character, looking to preserve our purity and develop our Christ-like character and seeking communion with God first and foremost. Yes this is important and should be stressed as it encourages maturity in faith and helps us tear our minds away form the obsession of relationships. However I feel that the book could stress that despite however mature in our faith we become we may not get married. The book could be more explicit on that, although not easy or pleasant it is true and something we do all need to realise on our walk as singles through life.

Other positive parts are the book is its honesty in dealing with issues, the personal experiences these woman share do seem to echo common experiences of single people (lonely nights in front of the TV anyone???). Also it is very clear on Right and Wrong, when we can become self pitying or be tempted not to draw the line, the book reminds us there is still a standard that we should be looking to despite our situation and how we feel about it. Time and time again the books points to God and the bible for all our answers to our problems, it aims to pull readers out of themselves and to put their eyes back to their faith and to their saviour.

The only negative I found is that it could do more of producing a theology of singleness. What does the bible say about singleness, what does this mean etc etc. However, there are other books that provide that e.g.: THE SINGLE ISSUE/ GOD, SEX & MARRAGE/ SINGLE WOMEN: CHALANGE TO THE EVANGELICAL CHURCH.

Overall an easily readable book, offering godly advice on practical living as a single Christian. Focused mainly to women, the teaching still is useful to men, showing our real need for relationships is met and fulfilled in Jesus.