I KISSED DATING GOODBYE

Josh Harris
Yes its that dreaded book, like marmite you either love it or you hate it. Published 1997, this book caused (and still causes) a stir, it raises reactions from its readers, I don’t think this book won’t be controversial. Now before we go any further, please put out of your head all you previous pre-conceptions of this book or opinions. What is the aim of this book? It says it is about “a new attitude toward romance and relationships”. Why? Basically secular culture is at such a level is influences all of us, especially young people, in our attitudes and perceptions of relationships and sex. The book shows we need to stand back and see what God says on the issues facing us in Romance and Relationships.

The first part re-thinks romance, looking ‘beyond what feels good back to what is good’. In a self obsessed culture where ‘I do what feels good to me’ it is a helpful reminder that we are here for Christ and not our own enjoyment. It looks at the gift of singleness, purity and pursing God first. All done again in a very relational and warm but biblical way, again showing singleness is an opportunity to serve the Lord, to grow in your faith and be used for God. After it looks at lifestyle issues like, making the most of your gifts, friendships, purity and forgiveness from your past through the cross.

The book is rather American and again there are cultural barriers to cross. BUT the teaching in it is good. I think the problem is people read this book and take away the application not the point. The classic being “don’t kiss your girlfriend”, that had people up in arms crying out “legalism”, why does he say this? He says this as this was his personal choice, he recommends it to his readers, his point being that we should seek to preserve our purity and not to rouse emotions we are not ready for. Now okay I take this is as very good advice, how do you apply the principal HONESTLEY to your relationships is something you have to work out (if your not towing the line then maybe try his advice!). If people remember this book is not the word of God but explains it very well it would cause a lot less angst.

This book is challenging, it will probe your life and make you think through your attitudes about, love, relationships, singleness and even friendships. It encourages you to put your marital situation back into God’s hands. To get out of the relationship obssesed mentality. The book encourages you to live out your life building yourself up in Christ, and building others up and all the time trusting in the God who cares for you. The book challenges you not to give into the world or be defined by it but to stand apart for God and seek his ways first.