What sort of gift is singleness?
When talking about singleness it is often referred to as a gift often quoting 1 Corinthians 7:7, however little is done to qualify what sort of gift is singleness. When we understand what sort of gift singleness is we can understand how to view and use our God given gift.
There have been many varied explanations about the gift of singleness, and much of that teaching on singleness has been unduly prejudiced by a secular mindset. In a society where marriage was the norm so teaching on singleness reflected society’s values. In today’s society where marriage is no longer given the precedence it once did and singleness amongst both beliers and non-believers is on the rise people are looking back to the bible to see what the bible actually teaches on this subject. The specific teachings on singleness are 1 Corinthians 7 and Mathew 19: 8-12. The church, at times, continues to retain its misconceptions about singleness and people are often reluctant to see singleness as the bible teaches it. This leaves many people confused about singleness and its place within the community of the church and in their lives. The first main question that occurs is ‘what sort of gift is singleness?’, to answer this is am going to first look at two answers that are often given that are NOT true, then look at where this leaves us and how we can define singleness and its status as a gift.
A gift of celibacy?
One interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7 was that Paul was talking about the gift of celibacy. 1 Corinthians 7 is about sex and marriage, and in that context when Paul talks to those who are not married and calls them to continue in their state of un-marriage he is in fact talking to those who had the gift of celibacy. The gift of celibacy is thought to be a spiritual gift from God little to no desire for sex whatsoever. The teaching on this would be that if you do not have the gift of celibacy then you should seek to marry to avoid falling into sexual sin, i.e. if you cannot control your sex drive then get married.
The first point against teaching a gift of celibacy is that it reduces marriage to legalised sex for Christians. The logic is that if you do not have the gift of celibacy, then you should get married to satisfy the desires of your body, teaching that in today’s sex obsessed culture is very alluring to believers. Marriage becomes primarily a place for the individual to satisfy their sexual desires. Paul’s teachings on marriage however in Ephesians 5: 22-33, puts the purpose of marriage to be the imitation of Christ’s love for the church. It seems odd that Paul would teach marriage as a picture of Christ in one epistle and as a place to satisfy lust in another. Sex is a part of marriage BUT marriage is not all about sex, to see marriage as a place for those who do not have the gift of celibacy to find ‘release’ from all their pent up frustrations would be a misunderstanding of both Paul’s teachings in chapter 7 and on the biblical teachings on marriage.
When we look at the text and who Paul’s addresses in his teaching he directs comments to ‘the married’ and to ‘the unmarried’ and to those thinking about marriage, Paul does not addresses those who have the gift of celibacy instead he addresses groups of people with different marital situations. Paul at no point addresses the celibate, nor makes any reference to a gifting of celibacy in the passage, it would be hard therefore to conclude that Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 is teaching about celibacy.
1 Corinthians 7 is addressing the issues raised about marriage and its place in the culture the Corinthians find themselves in, Paul addresses many different people in different situations and teaching on whether or not they should marry. The reasons Paul gives for people not to marry are purely to do with service to the Lord and Paul never once specifically mentions a gifting of celibacy either as a gift or a reason to stay unmarried. To claim therefore that those who do not have a gift of celibacy should marry is, from the passage, clearly wrong. The passage of 1 Corinthians 7 is instructions to believers, married and not married, on how to look at their present marital status: ‘are you unmarried do not seek a wife, if you do marry you have not sinned... but those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I want to spare you that’(verse 27-28) as such to say Paul is teaching celibacy is the gift mentioned in verse 7 would also be a misunderstanding of the purpose of chapter 7.
Chapter 7 is Paul’s writings to the Corinthian believers on how to live godly lives in a sex worshiping culture. His conclusion is that being single or being married are both gifts that God gives to believers ‘each man has his own gift from God, one has this another that’(vs 7). The chapter as a whole does not define the gifts mentioned in verse 7 beyond married and unmarried and Paul gives his teachings generally to different groups of believers relating to their current marital situation NOT their gifting. To interpret 1 Corinthians 7 as speaking about the gift of celibacy is to both miss the point of the passage and the teaching of Paul to the Church.
A Spiritual gift of Singleness?
Again somewhat related to the previous argument of a gift of celibacy, some argue that singleness is a spiritual gift, one given by God to a few in order that they may be devoted to serving him in various ministries and being spiritually enabled to live in their state of not being married. Again this would lead to the conclusion that ‘if I don’t feel that I have the gift of singleness then I should get married’ or if I can detect no supernatural enablement of being able to live as a single Christian I should get married’. Often in this case decrement of the gift (like celibacy) is based purely on the individuals feelings about being single. Obviously we have a biological makeup that makes us generally tend toward reproduction and for Christians that would mean having to be married, also bearing in mind the amount of hormones that carouse though our bodies will also incline us more towards wanting to have sex and to reproduce. If we base our decrement of our gift on how we feel there is a great deal of danger of in fact having our marital situation dictated by our hormones instead of the word of God!
The main basis for the argument for singleness being a spiritual gift is based on the Greek word Paul uses for Gift Χάρισμα- Charisma. Charisma means ‘gift of grace’. Its root word is Charis, meaning ‘grace’ that is used by Paul most frequently as gift. So in 1 Corinthians 7:7 ‘each man has his own gift from God; one has this another that’. The main case for singleness being a spiritual gift is that the word Charisma is a form of the word used when Paul refers to spiritual gifts: Charismata, Charismaton, Charismartos (being the plural versions of the singular Charisma). All these words have the same meaning, a gift of grace, and many teachers have taken this to mean that as Paul uses the same word he uses to refer to spiritual gifts that singleness can be therefore categorised in the same way.
After extensive study of the Greek the term for spiritual gift occurs in three ways in Paul’s letters.
- Where Paul uses the term Charismata to refer to Spiritual gifts he qualifies it by referring to the Holy Spirit. E.g.: Romans 1:11, 1 Corinthians 12:4. Or Paul talks about gifts and uses the term Charismata in a passage where we see from the context that he is teaching about the use of spiritual gifts within the church (e.g. teaching, prophecy tongues etc): Romans 12:6, 1 Corinthians 1:7 and 1 Corinthians 12:31 and 1 timothy 4:11.
- Where the term gifts of the spirit is used, the word ‘gift’ is added by the translators to give an English meaning to the passage:
-1 Corinthians 13:2 the word gift is added in front of prophecy to read in the English ‘gift of prophecy’
-1 Corinthians 14:1 the word used by Paul is ‘pneumatika’ meaning spiritual and the translators add the word gift to make it read ’spiritual gifts’.
-1 Corinthians 14:37 where the word used is ‘spiritual man’ the translators add gift to the verse to interpret the Greek as: ‘spiritually gifted’ - Lastly the term Charismata referring to spiritual gifts is used in direct reference to the gift of healing, (lit gift of cures) as in: 1 Corinthians 12:9,28,30.
So where does 1 Corinthians 7:7 fit into these categories? The Greek term for spirit or spiritual is absent, and the context is Paul teaching on sex and marriage in the Corinthian church so it is not under the first point. The word for gift is there in the Greek so it is not added by translators to clarify the spiritual nature of singleness and obviously the passage is not talking about healing. In Paul’s letters the use of the word Charisma in 1 Corinthians 7:7 is both unique and unrelated to the terminology he uses for spiritual gifts. The closet we come is in Romans 1:11 which is the only other passage where Paul uses the term charisma. In this case the Greek literally reads: for I long to see you, that some I may impart gift spiritual. The only other use of the term ‘Charisma’ Paul adds the word spiritual so that his readers may know that he is talking about gifts of the spirit. As all reference to the Holy Spirit or the spritualness of the gift where does that leave 1 Corinthians 7:7? Study of all the Greek words used by Paul in reference to spiritual gifts we can conclude that Singleness is not a spiritual gift, as presented by Paul is not meant to be seen as a spiritual gift the Greek does not hold in the context of Paul's other letters does not support this view.
Thinking again about singleness being a spiritual gift, if we use the passage of 1 Corinthians 7:7 to infer that singleness to be a spiritual gift we must therefore conclude marriage to be as well: each has his own gift from God, one has this another that. Both gifts are referred to in the same way so therefore how we classify the ‘gift of singleness’ is the way we should classify the ‘gift of marriage’. If someone marries and finds they are struggling does that mean they have the gift of singleness? Does that therefore mean we should encourage them to separate from their spouse in order to fully experience and nurture the God given gift of singleness? Of course not when a person struggles in marriage we encourage them to persevere and hold to what God has given them. There defiantly is a spiritual side to marriage where husband and wife work together to build each other up in the Lord and to work at modelling Christ’s love for the church but to say marriage is a spiritual enabled sate where both partners function without strife or trouble is wishful thinking. It seems therefore strange that this is not the case with singleness? When people struggle the automatic reaction is to encourage them to seek marriage as if that is the ‘cure’ for their problems of being single. If singleness is not a spiritually enabled gift then we should expect that (like all areas of the Christian life) there will be struggles and it will be hard yet it will also have its rewards.
To say singleness is a spiritual gift has no backing in scripture, experience or logic. It encourages people to look at their feelings and experiences instead of the bible for direction in decrement of their gifts. Teaching singleness as a spiritual gift will mean many will reject singleness and its benefits and blessing in favour of seeking marriage, which is an attitude that brings many problems. When we see singleness as not some spiritually enabled state we can then realise that despite how we fell about it or how we cope living as a single it does not affect whether or not we have the gift.
What sort of Gift is singleness?
It is surprising to note out of marriage and singleness the new testament encourages believers to pursue singleness, Paul actively encourages the unmarried believers to stay unmarried:
I wish all men were as I am. But each one has his own gift from God, one has this gift another has that. To the unmarried and widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. Vs 7-8
nether the less each one should retain the place in Life that the Lord assigned to him and to which the Lord has called him. Vs 17
Now about virgins... I think it is good for you to stay as you are, are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried do not look for a wife. But if you do marry you have not sinned. Vs 25-27
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs- how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the interests of this world- how he may please his wife. His interests are divided. I am saying this for your own good not to restrict you but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. Vs 32-33 & 35
So then he who marries the virgin does right, he who does not marry her does even better. Vs 38
... others have renounced marriage for the kingdom of heaven. The one who can should accept this. Matthew 19:12
Paul encourages believers who are not married to stay that way. If Paul were talking about the gift of celibacy or a spiritual gift of singleness then he would give these specific commands to those with that gift to use it and remain single for the service of God. To apply these teachings generally to unmarried believers who did not posses either a spiritual gifting of singleness or celibacy would be unreasonable. However that is not the case, instead he gives these commands to all the unmarried believers, that they should seek to remain unmarried in order to better serve and devote themselves to the Lord. These general teachings addressed to those believers who are unmarried show that the gift Paul is talking about in vs 7 is the gift of being in the state of being unmarried or better known as singleness.
What is the gift of singleness therefore? It is according to Paul not being married. How do I know if I have the gift of singleness? ... are you unmarried, if so then congratulations you have the gift of singleness. Paul makes no attempt to classify singleness as a spiritually enabled state, you do not have to spend hours soul searching in prayer and fasting for a revelation of your gifting; it is simply as you are in both being and circumstance. Singleness is a gift given by God, for you and is determined by your circumstance, are you single, then you have the gift of singleness are you married then you have the gift of marriage.
Singleness and marriage should be seen as general gifts that God gives to his people, the phase Paul uses is ‘. But each one has his own gift from God, one has this gift another has that’ this is very inclusive, it means that everyone has a gifting from God in relation to being single or married. God hasn’t forgotten you when he was handing out the gifts, each one has this means you where you are at this precise minute is how God wants you to be. If your unmarried that is the gift God has given you, if you are married that is the gift God has given you, one has this gift another that. God is very generous, he gifts us all in many and different ways: ‘the gift we have from God referred to in 1 Corinthians 7 is our life situation- our total selves and the context in which we are placed’ (John Richardson)
Singleness and marriage are both gifts from God for his church, they are mutually exclusive that is to say at any one time you have either or (you are single or married) and that is determined by your marital status. The gifts are both different and have different benefits and struggles but are both biblically valued. What does this mean then? If we want to be truly ‘evangelical’ then we need to look beyond our culture and Old Testament mindset to see what the bible tells us about singleness. When we see Gods wonderful giftings to his church we can help and encourage each other in our walks in either singleness or marriage as valued and complete members of our church communities recognising our identity is not in our marital status but the cross and our giftings are wonderful gifts God has given to us.
Further Reading:
JOHN RICHARDSON: God sex and marriage; guidance from 1 corinthians 7 (Matthias Press 1995)
AL HSU The single issue (IVP 1998)
KIRSTIN AUNE Single women: challenge to the evangelical church (Authentic 2006)
posted by Jonny:) @ 2:04 PM
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